The first week of marriage.

So I have been married for just a bit over a week. Here are some of my thoughts on the first week.

The first night (after the reception) was terrifying. After all was said and done (no details), and Katie was asleep, I lay awake thinking "Holy crap I am married!"I do not, and haven't, had doubts about this, but I still felt this amazing sense of overwhelmedness (I don't believe that is a word) about what had just happened. Marriage is an amazing thing, but also a terrifying thing because you stand in front of basically everyone you know and vow to do something. Billions of people in the world, you need to be pretty sure to make that vow. Luckily, Katie (and I assume most couples) felt the same way and we talked about that feeling most of the day on Sunday (traveling to Jamaica). Was nice to know that she felt the same way and we used that tiny bit of 'what did we just do?' to grow even closer.

Is there a good way to ask someone if they sent a gift? Lets say that after you opened all the gifts you notice that someone close to you didn't send a gift. We don't mind if they didn't, we just fear it may have been lost. There truly isn't a good way to ask that is there... Oh boy.

Our honeymoon was amazing. Jamaica was an amazing experience. The food, weather, drinks, scenery... everything was great. Being at a resort like that totally makes me question American's sense of cultural decency. I wonder what it is like to work at one of those resorts. I imagine the workers get paid like $20 a day or something (no idea) and have to put up with waiting on lazy Americans who can't walk 50 feet to get a drink (Katie and I never had them bring us drinks, we got our own). Just a weird situation. I would love to talk with some of the staff there about their real views of Americans.

Airports are the best place to people watch. The average person pretty much drives me insane, mostly because I feel that the typical person is WAY too narcissistic for their (and our) own good. Airports are great because you throw hundreds of people, each of whom feel they are the most important person at the airport (and the world), into a tiny space. Mostly being in an airport just makes me sad to see where we are as a society. If you don't know what I mean, just watch what happens once the seatbeat light is turned off and people can start getting off of the plane.

Miami airport is terrible. I wouldn't recommend being there for too long. Thousands of people, little room, and no where to eat.

I am not used to wearing a ring. I always feel like it will fall off, especially when I wash my hands (maybe that is why so many men don't wash theirs).

Lastly, I am excited to be married. Obviously I love Katie (now my wife!) very much, but I am so grateful for our relationship. We get each other. We communicate well. We don't let thing stew, we just talk them through and get through them. The first week has been amazing, and I am very much looking forward to many many years of marriage. I want to be that old couple at a wedding years from now that gets to give marriage advice because we have been married the longest. Hopefully I live that long!

All You Need Is Love

Obviously with my wedding coming up I have been doing a lot of thinking (both forward and backwards). This is combined with a conversation I had with one of my most amazing friends in the world yesterday (Shanna) about a series they are bringing back on NPR called 'This I Believe.' Being the loser that I am, I looked up the series today and listened to the Podcast (I haven't listened to the radio since the invention of the in-car CD player). All of this combined to get me thinking even more.

Relationships, especially marriages, are a funny thing. I am not sure how natural they are. I read a stat somewhere, sometime, that only somewhere around 3% of mammals are monogamous. That is amazing. I am not sure if humans would be considered that way since most people have sex with more than one person in their lifetimes. Not sure if other sea otters (are they even mammals?) have a hot dating scene or not. Maybe they do and just like to be players.

Anyways, I just want to say that I believe in love. I believe in marriage (obviously). I don't believe that everyone needs to be married or that marriage is a goal. The general idea that you aren't successful unless you are married is part of the reason our divorce rate is 41% (just like owning a home is what makes you successful leads to a high foreclosure rate). If you don't want to get married, don't.

This all being said, I am very unapologetic in that my marriage is the most important aspect of my life. If Mike & Mike in the Morning said I could take over for Mike Golic (I would love to work with Greenie) said I could have the job if I left Katie, I wouldn't. Not in a million years. Not because I don't think having a great career is important, I desperately want a career that I am proud of; however, there is also something to be said of being a great husband and dad. Too many dad's have fallen victim to the demands of capitalism. I will never be that guy. People say I don't need to because I am marrying a doctor, but those who know me best know that has nothing to do with it.

I think that too many couples have ruined marriage for so many people. It doesn't have to be what it has become. Marriage is often seen either as a requirement or a hassle. Why can't it just be great for some? Why does it have to be something like a means to an end? People try to find love just so they can get married, and then divorced. This sours people, and that sourness is contagious, and has infected a whole generation of people.

My goal is to be happily married. That married couple that makes other people want to be married, but doesn't make you feel like you have to be married. Honestly, I don't care. I hate people that want marriage, but don't want to be married (ask if that doesn't make sense).

Probably a few move posts on this subject to come. What typically happens is I get an idea on my mind (and it seems great). I sit down to write, get a few paragraphs in, and then it derails. Sadly I am too impatient to proofread too. Guess Rolling Stone will never come calling, huh?

Lets get married already

So I get married in about 17 days or so. Honestly, I can't wait. The fact that I cannot wait makes me feel strange. People come up to me all the time and ask "are you nervous?" I have been asked the question so many times that I am starting to feel like there is something wrong with me BECAUSE I am not nervous or scared.

Honestly, I am just excited to get it over with. Wedding planning is terrible and stressful. I feel that we have made weddings into way more then they have to be. Do you think our parents generation stressed this much about weddings? When did this all happen? When Katie and I first got engaged I thought that since we would have just over a year to plan that it would eventually be done. Boy was I wrong. I have learned that wedding planning is never done. Eventually the day just comes. Then you are done.

My biggest fear is that Katie is such a perfectionist and so worried about things that she will not have any fun. That instead she will be so concerned about everything and everyone else that she will forget that more than anything, this day is about her (and sometimes us). That just isn't how she is wired though. My question, is then why spend thousands to have a stressed out Katie? I get that on a daily basis with her being a resident pediatrician.

This all being said, I am ready for it to be over. I just want to be married. I want to have a marriage, and not just a person to plan a wedding with. Does that make sense?

Hopefully the last few days of planning go well.